Friday, November 26, 2010

Breaking News: People eat food on Thanksgiving; shop on Friday

My thanksgiving was good, but could have been better if I only had more of two things:  1) Status updates about how much people ate on Thanksgiving, and 2) more news media reports about how people shop on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  I feel I don't get enough of these things around Thanksgiving.  Please remedy this.

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING.  And I got back on the wagon with my first drink since August 22.  That's 94 days without a drink.  The beverage?



Just a beer, man.  Although I appear to be in some sort of standoff with the beer in this photo.  And my head broke the flash on my buddy's camera. The first beer actually tasted like the first beer I ever had in my life, back on June 13, 2006.  I forgot that beer was an acquired taste and thought, "wow, this isn't very good."  Then I got used to it again and all was well.  Big middle finger to all of you who voted for Four Loko which would have actually killed me. 

We went to the always-terrible Fishbones which was more terrible than I remember it on previous nights-before-Thanksgiving.  Just packed beyond belief.  It's usually sorta-packed with tons of people in the vicinity of my age, which is fine, since I only have to deal with that high-school reunion stuff about once a year.  But somebody dragged about six busloads of forty-somethings into the bar this year.  Which...give it up folks.  Game's over.  Go ruin your life and have kids or something. 

One thing I can't handle at the bar right now:  Screaming so somebody else can hear me.  My voice goes pretty quickly, which is partly a hydration issue and partly a part-of-my-lung-is-included-in-the-blast-zone issue. 

You know what is loads of fun thought?  Saying hi to somebody I haven't seen in a while and watching them stare at me for about 4 seconds before they put two and two together and figure out who I am.  That's good for at least an hour of fun. 

BIGGER HARDASSES:  TSA OR COPS OUTSIDE THE TERMINAL?  I went to pick up Emily from the airport on Wednesday night.  The drive wasn't bad until I made it to the airport, where there was about a half-mile long line to pick up passengers.  When I got near the terminal building I saw this:


If you can't make out what's going on there, neither can I .  The sign says something is going to be "strictly enforced."  Government agencies say that all the time so everybody can just ignore that.  But there's also a line of cones with three cop cars blocking two lanes.  I'm sure there's a reason for this; I can't figure out what it is.  It's probably a pretty crappy one. Something about security.  Terrorists.  9/11.  Whatever. 

In any event, the cops who apparently were riding in the cars that were blocking two lanes in front of a half-mile line were out wandering around the mass of traffic blowing whistles and swinging their flashlights at everybody.  A few seconds after this photo was taken, a cop walked in front of my car, put a cone in front of it, and started gesturing for me to go around the cone.  I thought better of taking a picture of him.  I know bad things happen when you try to photograph public employees performing public duties in public places. 

Anyway, I successfully didn't get arrested and managed to pick up Emily.

THE POLL BEFORE THE "WHAT SHOULD NICK DRINK?" POLL.  Those were all real events in Nick's life.  I'm a little surprised the Bar Exam won.  I know I had cancer and everything, but there's like a 75-80% pass rate and I've always been good on standardized tests (I can focus for a few hours or days; I tend to get bored over the course of a four-month class). 

But the other things are real too.  I actually did chase down and tackle a robbery suspect, although the coolness of that feat is slightly mitigated by the fact that the dude lost his shoes as he was running from the cops.  And I was in a car for part of the chase.  But still - true story.

The double-stabbing up in East Lansing was just a matter of me and a buddy being in the right (wrong?) place at the right (wrong?) time.  I figure stabbings are pretty common occurrences in East Lansing, but as I was from Ann Arbor, I wasn't very familiar with the practice.  In any event, I managed to end up in the mix of one of these things and ended up giving first aid to a couple of victims.  I had a blood covered shirt to prove it.

THERE IS ROUGHLY ZERO CHANCE OF ME SHOPPING TODAY.  My shoulder is sore and that's the shoulder I use when I'm running people over to get an Xbox or something, so no shopping for me today.  Although one of my goals in life is to be involved in a WalMart stampede at some point.  You gotta find the right WalMart at the right time, but I imagine it's a magical experience.  I also want to use one of those carts that are intended for handicapped people but are inevitably used by fat people.  I was hoping to cross both of these things off my list today, but I decided to sleep in instead.  Maybe next year.

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